Moulton Lava

Moultonic Musings

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Location: New England, United States

Friday, January 15, 2016

Cyan D'ni Cave

Title: Cyan D'ni Cave
Artist: Uru Cavern Dwellers
Composer: John Lennon, Paul McCartney, and Barsoom Tork Associates
YouTube: Yellow Submarine ~ The Beatles

In the deserts of the West
Sat a van that looked bereft
Zandi told us of a quest
In the caves beneath a Cleft

So we bounded toward the edge
Past a whark's dried bony grave
Til we jumped a narrow ledge
Toward our Cyan D'ni Cave

We all dwell in a Cyan D'ni Cave
Cyan D'ni Cave, Cyan D'ni Cave
We all explore in a Cyan D'ni Cave
Cyan D'ni Cave, Cyan D'ni Cave

And our friends are all aGoG
Plus a few of them
Fell through the floor
As UruTunes begins to play ...

We all dwell in a Cyan D'ni Cave
Cyan D'ni Cave, Cyan D'ni Cave
We all explore in a Cyan D'ni Cave
Cyan D'ni Cave, Cyan D'ni Cave

(Full run ahead Mr. Sharper
Full run ahead
Great quest ahead it is, Explorer.
Up the stairs, Up the stairs
Shorah Friend, Shorah
Explore, explore)

As we seek the Grower's Tree
Obsessed with Relto Donut crave
Bahro Stones amid debris
In our Cyan D'n Cave

We all chat in a Cyan Aegura
Cyan Aegura, Cyan Aegura
We all chat in a Cyan Aegura
Cyan Aegura, Cyan Aegura

We all dwell in a Cyan D'ni Cave
Cyan D'ni Cave, Cyan D'ni Cave

CopyClef 2016 John Lennon, Paul McCartney, and Barsoom Tork Associates.
Restoration Hackware, all songs reused.

"At Restoration Hackware, our silly song parodies are your everlasting earworm."

Yellow Submarine ~ The Beatles

Tuesday, January 12, 2016

The Abominable Constable

Drama Review: The Abominable Constable

The Abominable Constable is a farcical mystery about a ham-fisted enforcer of pointless regulations.

As mysteries go, there is no way to spoil this one, as it is laughably rotten from the gitgo.

The title role is played by the inestimable Testy of Toyaanisqatsi, who sternly (if not gleefully) bullies wayward miscreants who run afoul of her rancid regulations.

The drama takes a bizarre turn when Testy encounters her inevitable antagonist, a curious character named Barsoom who styles himself as an Anthropologist from Mars.  Barsoom, it appears, is in the habit of studying Earth Culture, with special emphasis on its legendary dysfunctionality.

Barsoom, being an intrepid scientist, impishly inquires into Testy's inscrutable method of hypothesis testing, knowing full well that she lacks one.  Predictably, Testy goes postal and kiboshes Barsoom, skipping such normative niceties as Due Process.

Barsoom, as is his custom, documents the episode in his burgeoning lab notebook, The Hamartian Chronicles.

The mystery, of course, is to figure out Barsoom's diagnosis of Testy's humorless Antisocial Personality Disorder.

Tuesday, January 05, 2016


Game ReviewToyaanisqatsi

Toyaanisqatsi is a strange puzzle game that is a startling cross between an intriguing Myst-style puzzle game and a violent first-person shooter.

Toyaanisqatsi lures the player in with an enticing invitation to join with like-minded buddies to jointly solve traditional mind-bending puzzles with teamwork and collaboration, sharing discoveries and insights via built-in social network tools like chat and diagrams.

But unbeknownst to the hapless players, there lurks within Toyaanisqatsi a resident non-player antagonist called Testy of Toyaanisqatsi who suddenly rides in with her Tonka Tank and blasts anyone who has the temerity to engage in cooperative and collaborative play with their newfound buddies.

Toyaanisqatsi is an allegory for the Rivenesque divide between two disparate cultures.  On the one hand, there is Cyan World's beloved vision of the Stranger who labors arduously to save the distressed non-player characters whom the active player invariably finds in dire straits.  By contrast, there is the considerably more popular First Person Shooter, where the player is obliged to shoot down the evil monstrous non-player characters or die trying.

In Toyaanisqatsi, the non-player character, Testy, is the resident overlord of her private personal fiefdom who puts the players in a classic double bind, first inviting the players to work together, then abruptly reversing the cordial ambiance of collegiality and congeniality by declaring their mutual cooperation to be verboten. Testy then summarily shoots down any player with the temerity to openly collaborate with other players.

Toyaanisqatsi is a kind of allegorical meta-game about the UnCyantific Police Culture, revealing how that hostile and unbecoming culture systematically spoils the pleasure of collaborative learning and collaborative problem-solving.

 In short, if you are a Cyantist, I don't recommend playing Toyaanisqatsi.  Enter Testy's toxic world at your own risk.

Wednesday, October 21, 2015

Systemic Blunders

Systemic Blunders 

Fabulous New Book Titles



















© 2015 Chaos Publishing House

Friday, October 09, 2015


PferdeScheiße is a German word that translates into English as Horse Dookie.

If one is a scientist, and one tentatively adopts a working hypothesis that happens to be bogus - one that happens to be PferdeScheiße - and then diligently computes the consequences of that stinky hypothesis, one will compute a prediction that disagrees with experience or experimental observation.

So, for example, if you hypothesize PferdeScheiße, you might anticipate that there is a pony in there somewhere. And you might spend the rest of your life sifting through that stinking mound of PferdeScheiße searching for the elusive pony.

In the immortal words of Jackie Mason, "I wanna wish you the best of luck."

Over on Google Plus, I keep running into children who believe there must be a pony in there somewhere.

Apparently, they don't understand why, if they blithely assume the existence of PferdeScheiße, the anticipated pony never shows up. They inexplicably call that scientifically predictable disappointment a Paradox.

Sunday, October 04, 2015

Bearing Accurate Witness

From time to time, one experiences unjust, unethical, and/or unprofessional treatment from another individual.

Since everyone has an unalienable right to tell the true story of their own life, it is my practice to record and document such lamentable misadventures for future reference.

The latest episode in this pattern occurred recently when Jera Wolfe and Mark Larkento conspired to acquire and sequester four months of my academic work in a discussion group which they now jointly own and control.

I demanded that Jera restore to me access to the corpus of my own work, after he acted to deny me access to it. He adamantly refused.

Here is the unedited and unredacted record of that lamentable misadventure.

Friday, July 17, 2015

The Improbable Legend of Barsoom Tork and the Dragon

A land called Shire in Bedford is beset by a voracious dragon who dwells in the nearby Wetlands. The lumbering beast carries an appetite which ravages the land. In order to placate the beast, the good folks of Shire, under the unyielding command of the Governor General, feed the dragon two garlic and onion bagels every day.

When the bagels fail to satisfy the hungry beast, the people take turns feeding it their meager lunch of herring and cottage cheese. One day, the lot falls upon the Governor General's irascible puppy, Dusty, to make the daily lunch-wagon delivery.

Beside himself with anxiety for the well-being of his beloved puppy, the Governor General begs the residents to nominate a surrogate to deliver the lunch bucket. And so it came to pass that a gentle White Retriever named Fenway was selected to make the dangerous delivery that ominous day.

By incredible chance, Barsoom Tork, the dorky Anthropologist from Mars, happened to saunter past the surreal scene, and stopped to offer his aid. Fenway's keeper tries to send him away, but Tork refuses, and stays with Fenway, preparing to face the dastardly and formidable dragon.

Saint George and the Dragon by Paolo Uccello
As they schmooze along the trail to the Wetlands, the demonic dragon rises menacingly out of the murky Detention Pond. Fortified by the Power of the Word, Barsoom Tork charges at the beast, striking a brutal blow with his ludicrous lyrical lance. He then mocks the beast using Fenway's legendary insouciance, and the dragon silently sinks back into the murky depths of the Detention Pond.

Upon their return from the Wetlands, Tork calls out to the stunned population that if they consent to be amused, he will slay the dragon immediately before their disbelieving eyes. They shrug, and Tork mortifies the beleaguered dragon without further libretto.

The Governor crafts a new social contract and signs it on the site where Barsoom Tork stewed the dragon, and from its comity bursts a well-spring of neighborliness, whose therapeutic waters cured all ills.