Moulton Lava

Moultonic Musings

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Location: New England, United States

Friday, January 15, 2016

Cyan D'ni Cave

Title: Cyan D'ni Cave
Artist: Uru Cavern Dwellers
Composer: John Lennon, Paul McCartney, and Barsoom Tork Associates
YouTube: Yellow Submarine ~ The Beatles

In the deserts of the West
Sat a van that looked bereft
Zandi told us of a quest
In the caves beneath a Cleft

So we bounded toward the edge
Past a whark's dried bony grave
Til we jumped a narrow ledge
Toward our Cyan D'ni Cave

We all dwell in a Cyan D'ni Cave
Cyan D'ni Cave, Cyan D'ni Cave
We all explore in a Cyan D'ni Cave
Cyan D'ni Cave, Cyan D'ni Cave

And our friends are all aGoG
Plus a few of them
Fell through the floor
As UruTunes begins to play ...

We all dwell in a Cyan D'ni Cave
Cyan D'ni Cave, Cyan D'ni Cave
We all explore in a Cyan D'ni Cave
Cyan D'ni Cave, Cyan D'ni Cave

(Full run ahead Mr. Sharper
Full run ahead
Great quest ahead it is, Explorer.
Up the stairs, Up the stairs
Shorah Friend, Shorah
Explore, explore)

As we seek the Grower's Tree
Obsessed with Relto Donut crave
Bahro Stones amid debris
In our Cyan D'n Cave

We all chat in a Cyan Aegura
Cyan Aegura, Cyan Aegura
We all chat in a Cyan Aegura
Cyan Aegura, Cyan Aegura

We all dwell in a Cyan D'ni Cave
Cyan D'ni Cave, Cyan D'ni Cave

CopyClef 2016 John Lennon, Paul McCartney, and Barsoom Tork Associates.
Restoration Hackware, all songs reused.

"At Restoration Hackware, our silly song parodies are your everlasting earworm."

Yellow Submarine ~ The Beatles

Tuesday, January 12, 2016

The Abominable Constable

Drama Review: The Abominable Constable

The Abominable Constable is a farcical mystery about a ham-fisted enforcer of pointless regulations.

As mysteries go, there is no way to spoil this one, as it is laughably rotten from the gitgo.

The title role is played by the inestimable Testy of Toyaanisqatsi, who sternly (if not gleefully) bullies wayward miscreants who run afoul of her rancid regulations.

The drama takes a bizarre turn when Testy encounters her inevitable antagonist, a curious character named Barsoom who styles himself as an Anthropologist from Mars.  Barsoom, it appears, is in the habit of studying Earth Culture, with special emphasis on its legendary dysfunctionality.

Barsoom, being an intrepid scientist, impishly inquires into Testy's inscrutable method of hypothesis testing, knowing full well that she lacks one.  Predictably, Testy goes postal and kiboshes Barsoom, skipping such normative niceties as Due Process.

Barsoom, as is his custom, documents the episode in his burgeoning lab notebook, The Hamartian Chronicles.

The mystery, of course, is to figure out Barsoom's diagnosis of Testy's humorless Antisocial Personality Disorder.

Tuesday, January 05, 2016


Game ReviewToyaanisqatsi

Toyaanisqatsi is a strange puzzle game that is a startling cross between an intriguing Myst-style puzzle game and a violent first-person shooter.

Toyaanisqatsi lures the player in with an enticing invitation to join with like-minded buddies to jointly solve traditional mind-bending puzzles with teamwork and collaboration, sharing discoveries and insights via built-in social network tools like chat and diagrams.

But unbeknownst to the hapless players, there lurks within Toyaanisqatsi a resident non-player antagonist called Testy of Toyaanisqatsi who suddenly rides in with her Tonka Tank and blasts anyone who has the temerity to engage in cooperative and collaborative play with their newfound buddies.

Toyaanisqatsi is an allegory for the Rivenesque divide between two disparate cultures.  On the one hand, there is Cyan World's beloved vision of the Stranger who labors arduously to save the distressed non-player characters whom the active player invariably finds in dire straits.  By contrast, there is the considerably more popular First Person Shooter, where the player is obliged to shoot down the evil monstrous non-player characters or die trying.

In Toyaanisqatsi, the non-player character, Testy, is the resident overlord of her private personal fiefdom who puts the players in a classic double bind, first inviting the players to work together, then abruptly reversing the cordial ambiance of collegiality and congeniality by declaring their mutual cooperation to be verboten. Testy then summarily shoots down any player with the temerity to openly collaborate with other players.

Toyaanisqatsi is a kind of allegorical meta-game about the UnCyantific Police Culture, revealing how that hostile and unbecoming culture systematically spoils the pleasure of collaborative learning and collaborative problem-solving.

 In short, if you are a Cyantist, I don't recommend playing Toyaanisqatsi.  Enter Testy's toxic world at your own risk.