The Parable of the Egg Man
Moulton's Boarding House has 12 residents. Every Sunday, Moulton serves brunch for the boarders (which includes a fresh egg). Moulton has a standing order with the Egg Man to deliver a dozen fresh eggs a week. The Egg Man employs a neighborhood urchin named Dennis to deliver fresh eggs from the Egg Man's cold storage warehouse. Dennis gets paid a penny an egg for each one-way trip. So Dennis expects to earn 12¢ for each weekly delivery of a carton of eggs from the cold storage facility to Moulton's boarding house.
About once a month, one of Moulton's boarders misses the regular Sunday brunch to join his girl friend at another boarding house. But the peripatetic boarder also invites the girl friend to join him the following week for brunch at Moulton's table. Thus, most Sundays there are 12 people for brunch, but about once a month there are only 11, and about once a month there are 13 at the table.
Alas Moulton never knows which Sunday there will be an empty chair, and which subsequent Sunday there will be an extra person at the table. When Dennis comes with the standard carton of a dozen eggs, Moulton sometimes says, "I only need 11 eggs this week. Please take one of them back to cold storage. And next week you can bring me 13 fresh eggs."
The accountant for the Egg Man notices that, at the end of the year, Moulton's Boarding House purchased 52 dozen eggs, as expected. But the delivery charges from Dennis come to $6.48 (for transporting 54 dozen eggs) rather than $6.24 (for delivering 52 dozen eggs). Dennis explains to the accountant that there were twenty-four occasions (twice a month) where he either carried one egg back to the cold storage facility or one extra egg to Moulton. As far as the Egg Man is concerned, Moulton purchased 52 dozen eggs over the course of a year. But as far as Dennis is concerned, he transported 54 dozen eggs — 53 dozen in the usual direction, and one dozen in the alternate direction. So he is owed $6.48 for his labors transporting eggs over the rough cobblestone streets. The Egg Man thus had an extra cost of 24¢, over and above his expected cost of $6.24 for paying Dennis to deliver eggs. The Egg Man ended up paying 3.85% more to Dennis than he would have expected if there had not been any perturbations in the number of boarders at Moulton's table.
Moral: There's no such thing as a free brunch.
About once a month, one of Moulton's boarders misses the regular Sunday brunch to join his girl friend at another boarding house. But the peripatetic boarder also invites the girl friend to join him the following week for brunch at Moulton's table. Thus, most Sundays there are 12 people for brunch, but about once a month there are only 11, and about once a month there are 13 at the table.
Alas Moulton never knows which Sunday there will be an empty chair, and which subsequent Sunday there will be an extra person at the table. When Dennis comes with the standard carton of a dozen eggs, Moulton sometimes says, "I only need 11 eggs this week. Please take one of them back to cold storage. And next week you can bring me 13 fresh eggs."
The accountant for the Egg Man notices that, at the end of the year, Moulton's Boarding House purchased 52 dozen eggs, as expected. But the delivery charges from Dennis come to $6.48 (for transporting 54 dozen eggs) rather than $6.24 (for delivering 52 dozen eggs). Dennis explains to the accountant that there were twenty-four occasions (twice a month) where he either carried one egg back to the cold storage facility or one extra egg to Moulton. As far as the Egg Man is concerned, Moulton purchased 52 dozen eggs over the course of a year. But as far as Dennis is concerned, he transported 54 dozen eggs — 53 dozen in the usual direction, and one dozen in the alternate direction. So he is owed $6.48 for his labors transporting eggs over the rough cobblestone streets. The Egg Man thus had an extra cost of 24¢, over and above his expected cost of $6.24 for paying Dennis to deliver eggs. The Egg Man ended up paying 3.85% more to Dennis than he would have expected if there had not been any perturbations in the number of boarders at Moulton's table.
Moral: There's no such thing as a free brunch.
posted by Moulton | 10:26 AM
2 Comments:
Sam Chan pasted this blog post into ChatGPT, requesting a poem:
«In Moulton's house, a story is told,
Of brunch and eggs, both fresh and bold.
Each Sunday, twelve folks would gather,
For a delicious meal, with joy they'd rather.
But once a month, oh, what a fuss,
One boarder would go, leaving an empty plus.
With his sweetheart at another boarding space,
He'd skip the brunch, a new dining embrace.
But fear not, dear reader, for love has its way,
The next Sunday, his sweetheart would surely stay.
Bringing the count to thirteen, an extra seat,
And the table would be filled, with laughter and greet.
Now, enter Dennis, the urchin of the street,
Carrying eggs, a job he'd repeat.
From the Egg Man's storage, cold and grand,
To Moulton's house, eggs in his hand.
Dennis earned a penny for each egg he'd take,
A journey he'd make, no penny he'd forsake.
Twice a month, a special task he'd fulfill,
Returning an egg or bringing an extra thrill.
Moulton, uncertain, each Sunday would say,
"Take one back, Dennis, not needed today.
And next week, bring me thirteen eggs anew,
For our hungry guests, the extra egg will do."
Now, the Egg Man's accountant, with careful eyes,
Noticed a difference, a surprise.
The numbers didn't match, the count went awry,
Eggs and expenses didn't see eye to eye.
Dennis, the honest lad, had an explanation so clear,
"There were twenty-four times, don't you fear,
When an egg traveled back, or extra joined the batch,
Over the cobbled streets, my feet would catch."
The Egg Man knew, he sold fifty-two dozen, no doubt,
But Dennis transported fifty-four, the story sprouts.
The cost rose, a fraction above expected pay,
For the perturbations that occurred, along the way.
The moral we learn from this peculiar tale,
Is that free brunches are simply a veil.
There's always a cost, whether big or small,
Even in the land of brunch, it's a universal call.»
Sam Chan then suggested that ChatGPT turn this blog post into a story suitable for a 3rd grader. ChatGPT responded thusly:
«Once upon a time, in a big colorful house, Mr. Muffin lived with 12 cheerful neighbors. They all loved to eat yummy breakfast together on Sundays. Mr. Muffin’s special breakfast had pancakes, fruits, and, the most important part, fresh eggs! 🍳
For the eggs, Mr. Muffin had a deal with Farmer Eggy, who lived nearby. Farmer Eggy had a helper, a jolly kid named Denny, who loved to zoom around on his skateboard.
Every week, Denny would deliver 12 eggs to Mr. Muffin's house, one for each neighbor. Denny got one shiny coin for every egg he delivered, so he would earn 12 shiny coins every week! 💰
But, sometimes funny things happened! Once a month, one of the neighbors would visit a friend for breakfast and not eat at Mr. Muffin’s house. But then, the next week, that neighbor would bring the friend over, so there would be an extra person!
Mr. Muffin would sometimes say, “Denny, I only need 11 eggs this week. Can you bring back one egg? But next week, bring 13 eggs because we’ll have a guest!”
At the end of the year, Farmer Eggy was checking his big book of numbers and saw something surprising! Denny had earned 24 extra shiny coins! 🤔
Denny explained that he got these extra coins because sometimes he had to skateboard back with an egg or bring an extra one. That meant more trips and more skateboarding! 🛹
Farmer Eggy realized that these little changes meant a little extra cost for him. But he was happy to keep Mr. Muffin and his neighbors smiling with fresh eggs for their special breakfast.
So, kids, this funny story teaches us that sometimes when plans change a bit, it might cost a little extra. Just like when you want an extra scoop of ice cream, you might need a few more coins! 🍦💕
And remember, nothing is free, not even a super-duper breakfast party! 🎉»
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