Moulton Lava

Moultonic Musings

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Location: New England, United States

Friday, July 17, 2015

The Improbable Legend of Barsoom Tork and the Dragon

A land called Shire in Bedford is beset by a voracious dragon who dwells in the nearby Wetlands. The lumbering beast carries an appetite which ravages the land. In order to placate the beast, the good folks of Shire, under the unyielding command of the Governor General, feed the dragon two garlic and onion bagels every day.

When the bagels fail to satisfy the hungry beast, the people take turns feeding it their meager lunch of herring and cottage cheese. One day, the lot falls upon the Governor General's irascible puppy, Dusty, to make the daily lunch-wagon delivery.

Beside himself with anxiety for the well-being of his beloved puppy, the Governor General begs the residents to nominate a surrogate to deliver the lunch bucket. And so it came to pass that a gentle White Retriever named Fenway was selected to make the dangerous delivery that ominous day.

By incredible chance, Barsoom Tork, the dorky Anthropologist from Mars, happened to saunter past the surreal scene, and stopped to offer his aid. Fenway's keeper tries to send him away, but Tork refuses, and stays with Fenway, preparing to face the dastardly and formidable dragon.

Saint George and the Dragon by Paolo Uccello
As they schmooze along the trail to the Wetlands, the demonic dragon rises menacingly out of the murky Detention Pond. Fortified by the Power of the Word, Barsoom Tork charges at the beast, striking a brutal blow with his ludicrous lyrical lance. He then mocks the beast using Fenway's legendary insouciance, and the dragon silently sinks back into the murky depths of the Detention Pond.

Upon their return from the Wetlands, Tork calls out to the stunned population that if they consent to be amused, he will slay the dragon immediately before their disbelieving eyes. They shrug, and Tork mortifies the beleaguered dragon without further libretto.

The Governor crafts a new social contract and signs it on the site where Barsoom Tork stewed the dragon, and from its comity bursts a well-spring of neighborliness, whose therapeutic waters cured all ills.

Sunday, July 05, 2015

Little Golf Carts

Barsoom Tork is chagrined to release yet another atrocious song parody for the Bedfordshire Lyric Opera.

Title: Little Golf Carts
Artist: Montana Mouse
Composer: Malvina Reynolds and Barsoom Tork Associates
YouTube: Little Boxes ~ Malvina Reynolds

Little golf carts on the driveways
Little golf carts made of fiberglass

Little golf carts on the driveways

Little golf carts all the same.

There's a green one and a fringed one 

And a blue one and a yellow one

And they're all made out of fiberglass

And they all look just the same.

And the people in the condos

Mostly went to the university

Where they enrolled in some curriculum

And they came out all the same.

And there's realtors and lawyers

And business executives

And they all learned out of rule books

And they all think just the same.

And they all play on the golf course

And drink their wine coolers dry

And they all have grown children

And grandchildren who go to school

And the children went to summer camp

And then to the university

Where they enrolled in some curriculum

And they come out all the same.

And the boys go into business

And marry and raise a family

In condos steeped in legal codes 

And they all look just the same.

There's a gray one and a gray one

And a gray one and a gray one
But some have different color doors

Still they all look just the same.

CopyClef 2015 Malvina Reynolds and Barsoom Tork Associates.
Bedfordshire Bupkis.  All wrongs reversed.

"At Bedfordshire Bupkis our annoying song parodies are your existential nightmare."

Little Boxes ~ Malvina Reynolds