Dr. Rangeblock

Here, from Barsoom Tork Associates, is a new cartoon parody, Dr. Rangeblock -or- How I Learned to Stop Lamenting and Love the Lunatic Psychodrama ...

Dr. Rangeblock

-or-

How I Learned to Stop Lamenting and Love the Lunatic Drama

Ottavion Abdomovich Darkolnikov is a young ex-student of letters, law, and bloodlust living in extreme ennui in a dank basement in Darkansas. He lives in a tiny backwater where he rants, although due to a lack of joy has been avoiding learning for quite some time. (He claims the gloom aggravates his depression.)

In this segment, Ottavion Abdomovich Darkolnikov is obliged to deliver some bad news to his boss, Fyodor Moultonevsky. It seems that something has gone terribly wrong with the PoV (the Neutral PoV).

Ottavion Abdomovich Darkolnikov: Now then, Fyodor, you know how we've always talked about the possibility of something going wrong with the PoV.

Fyodor Moultonevsky: Eh?

Darkolnikov: The PoV, Fyodor ...

Moultonevsky: What?!?

Darkolnikov: The Neutral PoV!

Moultonevsky: Oy!

Darkolnikov: Well now, what happened is ... ah ... one of our Wikiversity editors ... he had a sort of ... well, he went a little shpilkes in the gennecktegessoink ... you know ... just a little ... verklempt. And, uh ... he went and did a loony thing. ...

Moultonevsky: ???

Darkolnikov: Well, I'll tell you what he did. He wrote a cartoon parody ... to mock your cultural model...

Moultonevsky: What?!?

Darkolnikov: Uh, well, let me finish, Fyodor. ...

Moultonevsky: ???

Darkolnikov: Let me finish ...

Moultonevsky: !?!

Darkolnikov: Well listen, how do you think I feel about it?! ...Can you imagine how I feel about it, Fyodor? Eh?

Slime and Punishment

Ottavion Abdomovich Darkolnikov is a young ex-student of letters, law, and bloodlust living in extreme ennui in a dank basement in Darkansas. He lives in a tiny backwater where he rants, although due to a lack of fun has been avoiding learning for quite some time (he claims the gloom aggravates his repression). He acts like a grouch using old papers as a dildofap, and due to lack of motivation studies very rarely, although the neighbors sometimes send their sockpuppets into his quarters with food for thought. He is frequently referred to as a former student because he doesn't have the desire to finish his education. Spiritually, physically (due to lack of outdoor exercise) and emotionally distressed, his behaviour in public becomes progressively more erratic through the drama as madness gradually consumes him. Darkolnikov fluctuates between extremes of altruism and inexplicable antipathy. He is described by his acquaintances as "darkly pallid" and many other observers in the basement state that he is very intelligent, but tragically misguided.

In The Crime of the Ancient Mariner, Darkolnikov kiboshes an Albatross with a banhammer he keeps in the janitor's hall closet, with the intention of baleting its cries for good cause, based on a theory he had developed of the "bad actor" (often misunderstood as similar to the Übertroll of Kitsche [dubious – discuss]).

In one famous rant, Darkolnikov cries out, "Good Goat! Can it be, can it be, that I shall ritually take a toy banhammer, that I shall strike the Albatross on the block, split its skull asunder ... that I shall tread in the icky dark slum, break the peace, steal and tremble; hide, all spattered in the crud ... with the toy banhammer ... Good Goat, can it be?"

[Source: "The Scream of a Ridiculous Kid" by Fyodor Moultonevsky]

Rime and Punishment

Ottavion Adambromovich Raskolnikov is a young ex-student of letters, law, and lust living in extreme poverty in St. Jimboland. He lives in a tiny backwater where he rants, although due to a lack of fun has been avoiding learning for quite some time (he claims the gloom aggravates his depression). He acts like a grouch using old papers as a dildofap, and due to lack of motivation studies very rarely, although the neighbors sometimes send their sockpuppets into his quarters with food for thought. He is frequently referred to as a former student because he doesn't have the desire to finish his education. Spiritually, physically (due to lack of outdoor exercise) and emotionally distressed, his behaviour in public becomes progressively more erratic through the drama as madness gradually consumes him. Raskolnikov fluctuates between extremes of altruism and inexplicable antipathy. He is described by his acquaintances as "glumly blue in the face" and many other observers in the dark state that he is very intelligent, but tragically misguided.

In The Crime of the Ancient Mariner, Raskolnikov kiboshes an Albatross with a toy banhammer he keeps in the janitor's hall closet, with the intention of baleting its cries for good cause, based on a theory he had developed of the "bad actor" (often misunderstood as similar to the Übertroll of Kitsche [dubious – discuss]).

In one famous rant, Raskolnikov cries out, "Good God! Can it be, can it be, that I shall ritually take a toy banhammer, that I shall strike the Albatross on the block, split its skull asunder ... that I shall tread in the icky dark slum, break the peace, steal and tremble; hide, all spattered in the crud ... with the toy banhammer ... Good God, can it be?"

[Source: "The Scream of a Ridiculous Man" by Fyodor Moultonevsky]

          

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Title: Sea Sick, So Name I Thee
Libretto: Benjamin Miller
Music: Richard Wagner
YouTube: Die Walküre (The Valkyrie) Act 1, Scene 3, Part 2

Ship's Captain:

Sea sick, so name I thee!

Jimbo:

(Vomits on the deck)

Sea sick call me for sea sick am I!
Be witness this ship I stumble on nauseated!
Walse given me in sorest need,
promethazine I find: I take it now!
Nausea's lurch most highest need,
gut-wrenching piercing convulsing need,
turning green on my face,
drives to vomiting and falling down:
Vertigo! Vertigo! so I name thee, sea sickness.
Vertigo! Vertigo! conquering croppy flop!
Shew now thy biting, twitching gyrate!
Go now from my stomach to someone else!

(With a powerful effort Jimbo stumbles to a deck chair and collapses)

Jimbo, the sea sick, see you here!
With motion sickness he collapses on this chair;
so wins for him a nausea most blessed;
from stumbling and swaying thus ruins my vacation.
From my stomach leave me now,
forth to the over laden buffet table:
there stands thee some people I have never met before,
when Jimbo lies sea sick on the deck chair!

CopyClef 2013 Richard Wagner and Benjamin Miller.
Resurrection Hackware.  All Songs Reused.