All Your Goons Are Belong To Us

All Your Goons Are Belong To Us

Synopsis: Cheka blocks Moulton on Encyc.Org for Bearing Accurate Witness

Alison: Now then, Auggie, you know how we've always talked about the possibility of something going wrong with the Block.

Auggie: Eh?

Alison: The Block, Auggie. The Indefinite Block! Well now, what happened is, one of our goons, he had a sort of, well, he went a little Cluster B in the Dramafest.

Auggie: What?

Alison: Well, I'll tell you what he did. He went and did a loony thing. He blocked Moulton for Bearing Accurate Witness.

Auggie: What? Did Moulton leave? Are you telling me he hasn't left?

Alison: Uh, well, let me finish, Auggie. Let me finish.

Auggie: Moulton is going to post this on his blog and on Facebook, isn't he?

Alison: Well listen, Auggie, how do you think I feel about it?! Can you imagine how I feel about it, Auggie? Eh?

Mockin' the Dog

Title: Mockin' the Dog
Artist: Alisence
Composer: Rufus Thomas and Barsoom Tork Associates
Instrumental: Walkin' the Dog — The Who

Dar Kama dressed in black
Cupid's arrows shot through a crack
Slung low, embattled foe
Barsoom mocked the Poodle — what a horror show

Mockin' the dog, I'm just a-mocking that dog
Well if you don't know how to do it
I'll show you how to mock the dog

Ask Dar Kama for common sense
Colbert's elephant jumped the fence
It jumped so high it rattled the sky
Didn't come back 'til the Fourth of July

Mockin' the dog, I'm just a-mocking that dog
Well if you don't know how to do it
I'll show you how to mock the dog

Abd Lomax, quite contrary
How does your steampunk flow
Hell's Bells
Fusion Cells an' little itsy bitsy bubble noise trails,
Wallucinations all in a row
Mockin' your fog

I'm just a-mocking your dog
Well if you don't know how to do it
I'll show you how to mock the dog
Well if you don't know how to screw it
I'll show you how to mock the dog
Well if you don't know how to foo it
I'll show you how to mock the, dog

CopyClef 2011 Rufus Thomas and Barsoom Tork Associates.
Resurrection Hackware. All songs abused.

"At Resurrection Hackware, Lunatic Drama is our most important offense."

Dr. Rangeblock

Here, from Barsoom Tork Associates, is a new cartoon parody, Dr. Rangeblock -or- How I Learned to Stop Lamenting and Love the Lunatic Psychodrama ...

Dr. Rangeblock

-or-

How I Learned to Stop Lamenting and Love the Lunatic Drama

Ottavion Abdomovich Darkolnikov is a young ex-student of letters, law, and bloodlust living in extreme ennui in a dank basement in Darkansas. He lives in a tiny backwater where he rants, although due to a lack of joy has been avoiding learning for quite some time. (He claims the gloom aggravates his depression.)

In this segment, Ottavion Abdomovich Darkolnikov is obliged to deliver some bad news to his boss, Fyodor Moultonevsky. It seems that something has gone terribly wrong with the PoV (the Neutral PoV).

Ottavion Abdomovich Darkolnikov: Now then, Fyodor, you know how we've always talked about the possibility of something going wrong with the PoV.

Fyodor Moultonevsky: Eh?

Darkolnikov: The PoV, Fyodor ...

Moultonevsky: What?!?

Darkolnikov: The Neutral PoV!

Moultonevsky: Oy!

Darkolnikov: Well now, what happened is ... ah ... one of our Wikiversity editors ... he had a sort of ... well, he went a little shpilkes in the gennecktegessoink ... you know ... just a little ... verklempt. And, uh ... he went and did a loony thing. ...

Moultonevsky: ???

Darkolnikov: Well, I'll tell you what he did. He wrote a cartoon parody ... to mock your cultural model...

Moultonevsky: What?!?

Darkolnikov: Uh, well, let me finish, Fyodor. ...

Moultonevsky: ???

Darkolnikov: Let me finish ...

Moultonevsky: !?!

Darkolnikov: Well listen, how do you think I feel about it?! ...Can you imagine how I feel about it, Fyodor? Eh?

Undo It

Title: Undo It
Artist: JWSurfeit
Composer: Kara DioGuardi, Martin Frederiksen, Luke Laird, Carrie Underwood, and Barsoom Tork Associates
YouTube: Undo It — Carrie Underwood (with Steven Tyler of Aerosmith)

I should have known by the way you scrolled on by
There was something in your edits and it wasn't right
I should have mocked, but I fell into a trance
Things got out of hand when Moulton hurt your pride

Now I only have myself to blame
For falling for your stupid games
I wish my life could be
The way it was before I fell outta grace

	Train wreck at Montparnasse Station, at Place de Rennes, Paris, France, 1895.

You stole my happy, you made me sigh
Took the wrong way and took me for a ride
And I wanna uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-undo it
You locked my talk page, now I want it back
I'm starting to see every train jump the track
Dark Junta, you blew it, you put me through it
I wanna uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-undo it

Na, na, na-na, na
Na, na, na-na, na
Na, na, na-na, na, na

Now your cojones don't have a flickery flame
And I never say KC's name and I never will
And all your thoughts, well I threw them in the trash
And I'm not even mad

Now you only have yourself to blame
For playing all those stupid games
You're always gonna be the same
And, oh no, this site is strange

You stole my happy, you made me sigh
Took the wrong way and took me for a ride
And I wanna uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-undo it
You locked my talk page, now I want it back
I'm starting to see every train jump the track
Boy you blew it, you put me through it
I wanna uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-undo it

Na, na, na-na, na
Na, na, na-na, na
Na, na, na-na, na, na

You want a future, you can't have it
I'm still trying to erase you from my past
I need you blocked so fast

You stole my happy, you made me sigh
Took the wrong way and took me for a ride
And I wanna uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-undo it

You locked my talk page, now I want it back
I'm starting to see every train jump the track
Johnny you blew it, you put me through it
I wanna uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-undo it

You stole my happy, you made me sigh
Took the wrong way and took me for a ride
Dark Junta, you blew it, you put me through it
I wanna uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-undo it

CopyClef 2011, Carrie Underwood and Barsoom Tork Associates.
Resurrection Hackware. All songs abused.

"At Resurrection Hackware, our atrocious song parodies are your existential nightmare."

Undo It — Carrie Underwood

Slime and Punishment

Ottavion Abdomovich Darkolnikov is a young ex-student of letters, law, and bloodlust living in extreme ennui in a dank basement in Darkansas. He lives in a tiny backwater where he rants, although due to a lack of fun has been avoiding learning for quite some time (he claims the gloom aggravates his repression). He acts like a grouch using old papers as a dildofap, and due to lack of motivation studies very rarely, although the neighbors sometimes send their sockpuppets into his quarters with food for thought. He is frequently referred to as a former student because he doesn't have the desire to finish his education. Spiritually, physically (due to lack of outdoor exercise) and emotionally distressed, his behaviour in public becomes progressively more erratic through the drama as madness gradually consumes him. Darkolnikov fluctuates between extremes of altruism and inexplicable antipathy. He is described by his acquaintances as "darkly pallid" and many other observers in the basement state that he is very intelligent, but tragically misguided.

In The Crime of the Ancient Mariner, Darkolnikov kiboshes an Albatross with a banhammer he keeps in the janitor's hall closet, with the intention of baleting its cries for good cause, based on a theory he had developed of the "bad actor" (often misunderstood as similar to the Übertroll of Kitsche [dubious – discuss]).

In one famous rant, Darkolnikov cries out, "Good Goat! Can it be, can it be, that I shall ritually take a toy banhammer, that I shall strike the Albatross on the block, split its skull asunder ... that I shall tread in the icky dark slum, break the peace, steal and tremble; hide, all spattered in the crud ... with the toy banhammer ... Good Goat, can it be?"

[Source: "The Scream of a Ridiculous Kid" by Fyodor Moultonevsky]

Rime and Punishment

Ottavion Adambromovich Raskolnikov is a young ex-student of letters, law, and lust living in extreme poverty in St. Jimboland. He lives in a tiny backwater where he rants, although due to a lack of fun has been avoiding learning for quite some time (he claims the gloom aggravates his depression). He acts like a grouch using old papers as a dildofap, and due to lack of motivation studies very rarely, although the neighbors sometimes send their sockpuppets into his quarters with food for thought. He is frequently referred to as a former student because he doesn't have the desire to finish his education. Spiritually, physically (due to lack of outdoor exercise) and emotionally distressed, his behaviour in public becomes progressively more erratic through the drama as madness gradually consumes him. Raskolnikov fluctuates between extremes of altruism and inexplicable antipathy. He is described by his acquaintances as "glumly blue in the face" and many other observers in the dark state that he is very intelligent, but tragically misguided.

In The Crime of the Ancient Mariner, Raskolnikov kiboshes an Albatross with a toy banhammer he keeps in the janitor's hall closet, with the intention of baleting its cries for good cause, based on a theory he had developed of the "bad actor" (often misunderstood as similar to the Übertroll of Kitsche [dubious – discuss]).

In one famous rant, Raskolnikov cries out, "Good God! Can it be, can it be, that I shall ritually take a toy banhammer, that I shall strike the Albatross on the block, split its skull asunder ... that I shall tread in the icky dark slum, break the peace, steal and tremble; hide, all spattered in the crud ... with the toy banhammer ... Good God, can it be?"

[Source: "The Scream of a Ridiculous Man" by Fyodor Moultonevsky]

          

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Title: Sea Sick, So Name I Thee
Libretto: Benjamin Miller
Music: Richard Wagner
YouTube: Die Walküre (The Valkyrie) Act 1, Scene 3, Part 2

Ship's Captain:

Sea sick, so name I thee!

Jimbo:

(Vomits on the deck)

Sea sick call me for sea sick am I!
Be witness this ship I stumble on nauseated!
Walse given me in sorest need,
promethazine I find: I take it now!
Nausea's lurch most highest need,
gut-wrenching piercing convulsing need,
turning green on my face,
drives to vomiting and falling down:
Vertigo! Vertigo! so I name thee, sea sickness.
Vertigo! Vertigo! conquering croppy flop!
Shew now thy biting, twitching gyrate!
Go now from my stomach to someone else!

(With a powerful effort Jimbo stumbles to a deck chair and collapses)

Jimbo, the sea sick, see you here!
With motion sickness he collapses on this chair;
so wins for him a nausea most blessed;
from stumbling and swaying thus ruins my vacation.
From my stomach leave me now,
forth to the over laden buffet table:
there stands thee some people I have never met before,
when Jimbo lies sea sick on the deck chair!

CopyClef 2013 Richard Wagner and Benjamin Miller.
Resurrection Hackware.  All Songs Reused.

Woolworths Foundation School of Political Dramaturgy

Letter to Jimbo Wales, Chairman Emeticus

Dear Woolworths Foundation Board of Trustees,

As you requested, here are the faculty recommendations regarding the qualifications of The Four Custodians of the Apocalypse to assume the duties of Headmaster here at Woolworths School of Political Dramaturgy.

We were especially impressed by the recent production in which the impressionable young students of Woolworths School of Political Dramaturgy were inducted into the long-forgotten practice of employing Parliamentary Bill of Attainder. The symbolic allusions to the Trial Scene from Alice in Wonderland was an especially brilliant maneuver.

We are confident that, with The Four Custodians of the Apocalypse in charge, our students will quickly learn all the well-known hoary practices from the rubbish heap of political history dating back to the Forgotten Realms of Hammurabi.

And, at the end of the term, all the students are cordially invited to Go Jump In the Lake.

(signed)

Humble Members of Your Obedient Faculty Senate
El Jefe, Chairman of the Committee on Bondage and Discipline
Dark Waffle, Recoding Secretary
The Lorax, Sargeant at Harms
BanHammurabi, Redactor of Records