Moulton Lava

Moultonic Musings

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Location: New England, United States

Wednesday, September 22, 2010

The Singularity Is Near

From: Moulton
To: Somey <>, The Wikipedia Review <>
Cc: Oscar Lechien, Gregory Kohs, SB_Johnny, JWSchmidt, Kato, Newyorkbrad,
Daniel R. Tobias, Cary Bass, PoetGuy, Tarantino, Archos, Abd, Jon Awbrey, Proabivouac
Date: Wed, Sep 22, 2010 at 9:08 PM
Subject: Re: So, I was thinking... why not try it?

Hi Somey,

I was wondering if you were gonna get around to explaining your actions this morning.

On Wed, Sep 22, 2010 at 8:22 PM, Somey wrote:


I promised that next time we did something objectionable regarding your WR account, I'd notify you myself, rather than have the rest of the mods compose some sort of formal-sounding statement like we're a corporation or a government agency or something. We are, in fact, not a corporation or government agency.

Which, I suppose, begs the obvious question: What is the name of the organizational model that W-R is employing this week?

So... what I'd like you to do is find some obscure website - doesn't have to be less obscure than WR itself, though that would be nice - and write a series of scorching exposés about how the WR moderators are all tin-plated, hate-filled fascist gasbags (or "assbags" if you don't mind the profanity), and that we're totally unethical and have no sense of human decency. Lay it on thick! Tell 'em that we're now worse than Wikipedia, and that our treatment of you proves it, beyond question! Also, reveal our identities if at all possible - if you can't figure out who I am, just tell them my name is "Garry Shandling." Everybody hates that guy! Also, if you don't mind, try to do it on a site where they never, ever delete anything, just in case you might change your mind later.

Would you settle for an atrocious song parody or two on my relatively obscure and little noticed personal blog?

To that end, I've suspended your WR account until, let's see, sometime in 2035, I believe it is. (There's a little box where you enter how many days you want it to last, and since I'm super-lazy I just type in the same number four times - in your case it was "8"...) This should give you plenty of time to get started.

How come the error message reads:

Your account has been temporarily suspended. This suspension is due to end on Thu 23rd September 2010, 10:21am.

Oh, and I almost forgot - could you also mention that we never made any serious effort to even understand, much less attempt, that whole social-contract thing? Also, you never really got a proper warning that we might suspend you, so that was a total surprise - definitely don't fail to mention that!

Would it be all right if I simply let your words speak for themselves?

If this little experiment works, we could have you "back in the fold" in no time at all - as early as 2027 even, though a lot of that depends on things like Apache/PHP date-handling bugs, or WR Mods of the Distant Future® clicking the wrong button by accident, etc.

Do you have a control group for your experiment? And how about approval from that ever-popular Human Subjects Committee?

Which reminds me... Warden Gomi still hasn't answered my Six Questions about that.

Good luck, and remember, this is a singular honor - most people never, ever get this far. I know I never did... Heck, I never even tried!


Well, as Ray Kurzweill reminds us, The Singularity Is Near.


The Process of Enlightenment Works In Mysterious Plays.


Title: Somey's Clan, Super Guards
Artist: Moulton
Composer: Tim Rice, Andrew Lloyd Weber, and Barsoom Tork Associates
Midi: Jesus Christ, Superstar
Every time I look at you I don't understand
Why you let your odd experiment get so out of hand.
You'd have managed better, Mods, if you'd had it planned.
Why'd you pull such a stupid move to have Moulton banned?
If you'd thought it through better you could have taught a whole nation
The art of Comic Opera with psycho-communication.
Don't you get me wrong.
I only want to know...
Gomi San, Prison Guard,
Are you really as mean as I think you are?
GlassBeadGame, now disgraced,
Whose topic thread has your crew defaced?
Tell me how it feels to be driving that train,
Would you rather have a red-head come and beat out your brains?
Was trash talk where it's at? Was Milton Roe your fave sock?
Could Somey move a mountain, or was that just punk rock?
Are you a bobble-headed Jesus? Or was that a mistake?
Did you know that Moulton's Opera was just a trashy crap fake?
Don't you get me wrong.
I only want to know...
Somey's Clan, Super Guards,
Are you really as mean as you say you are?
GlassBeadGame, now disgraced,
Whose topic thread has your crew defaced?
CopyClef 2010 Tim Rice, Andrew Lloyd Weber, and Barsoom Tork Associates.
Resurrection Hackware. All wrongs reversed.


Blogger Moulton said...

Shortly after I sent the above message to Somey at Wikipedia Review, the error message on the board changed to this:

Your account has been temporarily suspended. This suspension is due to end on Mon 22nd January 2035, 7:42pm.

This reminds me of the only sermon I can still remember from my childhood.

After a summer of renovation work in the sanctuary of Beth El Synagogue at 49th and Farnam Streets in the Dundee district in Omaha, we returned to services to discover that there were beautiful new lighting fixtures illuminating the pews. Previously there had been standard utilitarian frosted globes on the hanging light fixtures, such as those one might find in a school building.

Rabbi Kripke wove his sermon around the upgrade of the old utilitarian lighting fixtures to the beautiful new custom designed ones. He noted that when the lighting fixtures were first installed when construction of the new synagogue was completed in 1941, the Board had not yet selected a vendor or design for the permanent light fixtures for the sanctuary. Those "temporary" light fixtures had remained in place for some 15 years before they were finally replaced by something more fitting and appropriate for the sanctuary where services were held.

I can still remember Rabbi Kripke's words: "Temporary. Temporary for 15 years."

Somey has now upped the ante for the definition of "temporary."

"Temporary" is no longer 15 years, as was when I was a child back in the 1950s. Now the word "temporary" means 25 years.

In 25 years, if I'm still alive, I'll be 91 years old. It's possible I'll live that long, but it's more likely Wikipedia Review will die before I do.

7:40 AM  
Blogger Gomi No said...

Yes, the demise of the Review will, I hope, occur before yours. I wish you a long and productive life, Moulton. You had a significant and positive contribution to the Review when you weren't indulging your other enthusiasms -- notably for "Comic Opera".

I will say that I never wished you gone, nor particularly objected to any of your comments -- but when you decided we were all evil, it became difficult to support you.

You have many positive contributions to make, for those willing to wade through the verbiage, and I look forward to reading them here.

3:06 AM  
Blogger Moulton said...

There is a difference between being evil and being misguided.

There is a passage in Raymond Smullyan's remarkable piece, "Is God a Taoist?", in which God is defined as "The Process of Enlightenment" while the Devil is defined as "the unfortunate length of time the process takes."

I had hoped that Somey's initial estimate of one day of meditation would suffice, rather than the 25 years that he estimated on second thought.

6:51 AM  

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