Now the third opera in the Ring of the Neener Bomb is getting underway at the English Wikipedia and at Wikiversity. This one is tentatively called The Final Absolution and promises to have considerably better music than the utter atrocities previously composed by Barsoom Tork Associates.
The tentative plan was to place the proposed drama aboard a Ship, the HMS Final Absolution. On the prow of the Ship, in lieu of a statue of a naked lady, there was to be a sculpture of a Fucshia Foofy Loofah. The cargo was slated to be Vanilla Bean Soap-On-a-Rope.
However, I'm now thinking that instead of a Fucshia Foofy Loofah, I'll use a piece of Stainless Steel Wool as an Anode, and a Deuterated Palladium Cathode in lieu of the Vanilla Bean Soap-On-a-Rope. The Ship will be propelled by a noisy burst of pulsing energy through a fabulous spray of swirling mist.
I'm especially looking forward to crafting the grand finale, "The Riot of the Mockeries."
_______________________________
Title: The Riot of the Mockeries
Artist: The Wikipedia Outcast Opera Company
Producer: The Schadenfreude Post-Modern Theatre of the Absurd
Composer: Richard Wagner and Barsoom Tork Associates
YouTube: The Ride of the Valkyries — Vienna Philharmonic
YouTube: The Ride of the Valkyries — Domine (with English lyrics)
YouTube: The History of the Earth in 5½ Minutes
Oh Jimbo on high,
I am calling you like a wiki clown
And as I fake my last laugh
I call for the flightiest of mockeries
For none but the brave, be he admin or a knave
With adrenalin pumping in his heart
Will be able to riot when the mockeries fly
And be summoned to the dreadful review
Oh Jimbo on high
Listen to my praise
I lived my life by your rules
Oh let banhammers clobber me now
For none but the brave, be he admin or a knave
With cojones throbbing in his loins
Will be able to riot when the mockeries fly
And be summoned to the dreadful review
With the mockeries, scroll over the battleground
Wield your banhammers and summon me
I'm waiting for you to rake my coals,
Dying to fight with ArbCom of old
Mockeries, riot over the battleground
I'm losing and glad to feud
Because I know today I will take my place
With the martyrs in ArbCom of old
For none but the brave, be he admin or a knave
With dopamine surging in his brain
Will be able to riot when the mockeries fly
And be summoned to the dreadful review
With the mockeries, riot over the battleground
Wield your banhammers and summon me
I'm wading into der Sturm und der Drang, Nem zich a vaneh mit ArbCom of old
Mockeries, riot over the battleground
I'm dying and glad to feud
Because I know today I will jump in the lake
With the heroes in ArbCom of old
In the land of the outcasts I finally take my place
With my wounds and my trophies I enter Moulton's realm
I'm an immortal spirit now with a heart not so brittle
With the gods on high forever I will muse
And laugh at the fears of man
CopyClef 2011 Richard Wagner and Barsoom Tork Associates. Resurrection Hackware. All wrongs reversed.
The Ride of the Valkyries — Vienna Philharmonic
The Ride of the Valkyries — Domine (with English lyrics)
Now the third opera in the Ring of the Neener Bomb is getting underway at the English Wikipedia. This one is tentatively called The Final Absolution and promises to have considerably better music than that previously provided by Barsoom Tork Associates.
To kick things off, a Wikipedian who goes by the name of Filll has posed the following invitation:
How about you start with this, and then answer my 8 questions?
The reference to the starting point is a scathing Indictment of Moulton lodged by another prominent Wikipedian, an admin who goes by the name of FeloniousMonk.
It's been a long
A long time coming but I know a drama gon' come
Oh, yes it will
It's been too hard socking but I'm afraid to say
'Cause I don't know what's out there beyond this fray
It's been a long
A long time coming but I know a range-block gon' come
Oh, yes it will
I go to Facebook and I GoAnimate
Somebody keep telling me, "Embrace your fate"
It's been a long
A long time coming but I know an opera gon' come
Oh, yes it will
Then I go to that Martian and I say, "Barsoom help me please"
But he winds up mocking me with song parodies
Oh, there've been times that I thought
I couldn't last so long
Now I think I'm able to sing this song
It's been a long
A long time coming but I know Azazel gon' come
Oh, yes he will
CopyClef 2011 Sam Cooke and Barsoom Tork Associates. Resurrection Hackware. All wrongs reversed.
"At Resurrection Hackware, we solmenly swear we are up to no good."
I wanted to start this thread before anyone got confused over the recent Moulton situation. Moulton has been editing with many IPs since his block (we have blocked 14 that I know of). He has constantly gone around his blocks, and one of his favorite things to do is to play one of four characters (as part of his own Post Modern Theater fantasy):
This is not limited to Wikiversity servers, but he is now using his characters in Wikipedia and using fake signature lines that refer to Wikiversity. I'm afraid this will end up in a block on Moulton's home city in general.
Moulton, we've given you a lot of chances, and you keep resorting to this nonsense which makes it impossible for us to work with you. Every time we think we can get you to progress forward, you take a giant leap backwards.
I know people here hate range blocks, and hate hidden discussions, and changes without warning. So here is my warning right now - this will probably end up with the Foundation to settle things out because we request it and because we can't deal with this. Moulton, you pushed and pushed, and I'm sure you will come up with some new "Hypothesis" to describe this situation.
Wikimedia projects have their own idiosyncratic culture, their own constructed reality.
Those of us who are not "in universe" are governed by conventional methods of epistemology, such as the scientific method, evidence-based reasoning, dramaturgy, etc.
Barsoom Tork is an iconic character in a didactic model who represents adherence to rigorous scientific methods of investigation. He is an alien in the Wikimedia Universe.
Gastrin Bombesin is a similarly iconic character in these didactic models, but he represents the influence of fear and anxiety on the dynamics of the dramas unfolding in the Wikimedia Universe.
Montana Mouse is simply a journalist who writes stories about the adventures of Moulton the Schmeggegy Scientist (an inept would-be science educator who inhabits cyberspace cultures).
deleted per discussion sebmol? 04:20, 5 October 2008 (UTC)
I've deleted them all as they serve no redeeming value other than allowing this user to keep coming back, circumvent his block, and playing his sort of contraproductive games. sebmol? 04:20, 5 October 2008 (UTC)
The oldest and most insidious misconception in the annals of human civilization is a notoriously misbegotten idea that crept into the culture some 4000 years ago.
It was the unexamined belief that a socio-political governance model based on the Rule of Law was functionally capable of yielding a stable, orderly, well-regulated, and peaceable society. Many insightful observers (colloquially known as "sages") perceived there was something wrong with this fateful idea.
Indeed those sages were prescient.
It's been only a bit more than a century since modern science and mathematics have succeeded in rigorously demonstrating that rule-driven systems are inherently chaotic (in the mathematical sense of the word).
Hammurabi, it appears, blundered badly.
And it appears humans have been mindlessly xeroxing that lamentable blunder ever since.
One can find the first hint of Humankind's Original Logic Error ("HOLE")in Genesis 2:17. Augustine of Hippo examined that ancient text and came up with the diagnosis of "Original Sin." (Note that the Latin word, "sin," means "missing the mark.)
Well yeah. The ancient lawmakers missed the mark bigtime. They bollixed the math so badly, Ron Weasley would have called it "Bloody Hell."
But I doubt Homo Schleppians will fix it very soon. Fixing it will require that about 25% of the political leaders apprehend the mathematics of Recursion Theory and Chaos Theory.
That's probably not gonna happen any time soon.
It's gonna take a generation of Artists to devise a way to down-translate the Math into Opera.
If that ever happens, we will have added the Arts to STEM (Science, Technology, Engineering, and Mathematics) so as to build up a Full Head of STEAM.
Please, members of the Arts Culture, please make it so.
Title: I've Got a Theory
Artist: Barsoom Tork Associates
Composer: Joss Whedon and Barsoom Tork Associates
YouTube: I've Got a Theory — Buffy and the Scooby Gang
(The Kohser)
I've got a theory, it's Peter Damian, A logic demon... no, something isn't right there.
(Somey)
I've got a theory, Jimbo is dreamin' And you're all stuck inside his Wikipedia nightmare.
(Barsoom Tork)
I've got a theory we should work this ou - t
(All but Caprice)
It's getting eerie, what's this cheery singing all about?
(Moulton)
It could be bitches, Death Eater Bitches... Which is ridiculous 'cause bitches they weren't Cluster B Playful mood and love to romp and puppy power And I'll be without fear.
(Jonny Cache)
I've got a theory, it could be dummies...
all pause
[crickets chirp, Kato burps]
(Montana Mouse)
I've got a theor -
(Jonny Cache)
Dummies aren't just cute like everybody supposes, They've got them banhammers and tin badge snotty noses. And what's with all the Kool Aid? What do they need such Dopamine thrills for anywa - y? Dummies, dummies it must be dummies!
- pause -
...or maybe sycophants...
(Kelly Martin)
I've got a theory you should solve this quick.
(Kelly Martin & The Kohser)
Because it could be a serious bizness being sick.
(Caprice)
I've got a theory — it doesn't matte - r. What can't we face if we're together? What's in this farce that we can't weather? Apocalypse? Is that a scare? The same old trips. Why should we care?
(All)
What can't we do in a Comic Opera? We'll work it through though it's a flop - era. We have to try. We'll sing it twice. Let's roll the dice.
I have tried to express the terrible passions of the Rocky Horror Brain Caffiends by means of puns and scenes.
The stage is dull beige and stark mellow with a dream clue fable in the middle; there are four Leiben-Faerie vamps with a Crow of blancmange and spleen.
Everywhere there is a clash and contrast of the most alien dreads and screams, in the figures of brittle creeping hooligans, in the numpty dreary gloom, in violated hues and inscrutable clues.
The dull beige and the stark mellow of the clue fable, for instance, contrast with the soft- centered Garfunkel sheen of the walkout, in which there is a prose forlorn prayer.
The slight hammer of the Concierge, watchful in a corner of that foo-place, turns deja-mellow like pale luminous whipped cream.
Barsoom van Tork, 7 May 2015
Overture
Title: An Emopera Gonna Come
Artist: Moulton
Composer: Sam Cooke and Barsoom Tork Associates
YouTube: A Change Is Gonna Come — Sam Cooke
It's been a long
A long time coming but I know Emopera gon' come
Oh, yes it will
It's been too hard rocking but I'm afraid to say
'Cause I don't know what's out there beyond this fray
It's been a long
A long time coming, but I know a hiatus gon' come
Oh, yes it will
I go to Facebook and I GoAnimate
Somebody keep telling me, "Embrace your fate"
It's been a long
A long time coming but I know an Opera gon' come
Oh, yes it will
Then I go to that Martian and I say, "Barsoom help me please"
But he winds up mocking me with song parodies
Caprice ~ The Fantastic Flying Scapegoat for Azazel
Oh, there've been times that I thought
I couldn't last so long
Now I think I'm able to sing this song
It's been a long
A long time coming but I know Azazel gon' come
Oh, yes he will
CopyClef 2015 Sam Cooke and Barsoom Tork Associates. Resurrection Hackware. All wrongs reversed.
"At Resurrection Hackware, we solemnly swear we are up to no good."
A Change Is Gonna Come — Sam Cooke
Narrator
What we have in mind on this auspiciously suspicious occasion is a Shreklisch 21st Century CyberSpace Emopera, in which the Scooby Gang, played by Barsoom Tork Associates, mount a performance in two or three unnatural acts on the stage of Mystery Science Theatre 3000 (MST3K) entitled, "Rocky Horror Brain Cafe."
The all-important audience, representing the shadowed silhouettes on the walls of Plato's Cave include Tom Servo, Darth Feuder and Crow T. Foobot, representing the kvetching and trolling commentators in the audience who gleefully egg on the beleaguered and overworked actors on stage.
Your host for tonight's performance is Todd, in the role of the sober-sounding narrator and interpreter, otherwise known as The Stark Illuminati. Our Theater Proprietor and Concierge is Becca McCall (nee Becca Nicole), who is endlessly at the motherly beck and call of the emotional needs of our sizable and occasionally anhedonic theater audience.
Before introducing the rest of tonight's cast, let's enjoy a musical prelude to our story.
This number is a lovely duet between Becca Nicole and Barsoom Tork, based on the classic duet between Sarah Brightman and Andrea Bocelli.
Prelude
Title: Time To Say Goodbye
Artist: Becca Nicole and Barsoom Tork
Composer: Francesco Sartori, Lucio Quarantotto, and Barsoom Tork Associates
Late at night I dream of TBC and words flood over me
There's no insight in a thread where there is no light
And there is no light if trolls persist in teasing thee
From every plaint I learn that you've bewildered some
Into me you poured your plight that long has haunted thee
Time to say goodbye
Operas never sung nor yet composed anew
Create them now I beg of you
Please take a break with your hiatus crew
Two weeks will do
Dawdle not my friend nor tarry: adieu
It's time to say goodbye
(Barsoom Tork)
Late night my screen turns dark and moods flood over me
Of course I know your heart is part of me
You're like my Mom, I sense you're never far from me
You, my concierge, you sometimes fear for me
Dear me, dear me, dear me
Time to say goodbye
Emoperas not yet sprung shall soon emerge from Scooby crew
Time enough to wreak some parodies anew
Reworking old ones until the Muse comes through
It's time to say goodbye
(Both)
To Sandy's box, let's hie, hence to create a few
Atrocious scripts and dreadful puns, whee hoo!
Our gloom shall not persist in spite all night:
Release brings juvenile derring-do
Revival mode: let's craft a Horror Picture Show
You and me
CopyClef 2015 Francesco Sartori, Lucio Quarantotto, and Barsoom Tork Associates.
Resurrection Hackware. All songs abused.
"At Resurrection Hackware, our annoying song parodies are your everlasting earworm."
Time To Say Goodbye — Sarah Brightman and Andrea Bocelli
Narrator
Caprice will be playing the role of Scooby Doo, since that's a non-speaking part. Mani, Sabrina, Sandip, and Jen will play the other characters in the Scooby Gang.
Tonight's production will be featuring some random artwork and atrocious song parodies, of course. Our shreklisch drama begins with an homage to "The Hero's Journey," featuring Mani, Sabrina, Sandip, and Jen as the Scooby Gang, with special cameo guest appearances by Jeffery, Elizabeth, Carol, and Lisa.
Aria
Title: SuperHeroes
Artists: Scooby Gang
Composer: Barsoom Tork Associates
YouTube: SuperHeroes — Rocky Horror Picture Show (Mani) I've done a lot
God knows I'm snide
Let's find the truth
Not magnified
But all I know
Is down inside we're
(Scooby Chorus)
Bleeding
(Sabrina)
And Super Heroes
Come to feast
Lambaste the mess
Not yet released
And all I know is
Still the beast is
(Scooby Chorus)
Feeding
(Sandip)
And sprawling with their CyberBrain
Homo Schleppians take the train
Lost in time, it's all in vain
And screaming
(Scooby Chorus with Munch's "Geshrai")
Screaming
CopyClef 2015 Barsoom Tork Associates. North American Bupkis. All wrongs reversed.
"At North American Bupkis, Lunatic Drama is our most important offense."
SuperHeroes — Charles Gray, Susan Sarandon, and Barry Bostwick
Narrator
Becca McCall has blown the whistle on Moulton, who vigorously complains that's she's acting in error and in haste without researching the predictable consequences of her prospective action. Deaf to his cries, Moulton forlornly belts out an atrocious, yet oddly anticipated solo ranticle.
Ranticle
Title: Mother Superior Jumped the Gun
Artist: Moulton
Composer: John Lennon and Barsoom Tork Associates
YouTube: Happiness Is a Warm Gun — John Lennon Becca's not a girl who misses much
Do do do do do do do do, oh yeah
She's well acquainted with the touch of the velvet hand
Like a gecko on a window pane
The man in the crowd with the multi-coloured mirrors
On his shreklisch blogs
Scrying with his eyes while his fingers are busy
Clacking overtime
A soap opera session which he retched
And donated to the Rational Trust
Down
I need a trick 'cuz I'm going down
Down to the bits that I left uptown
I need a trick 'cuz I'm going down
Mother Superior jumped the gun
Mother Superior jumped the gun
Mother Superior jumped the gun
Mother Superior jumped the gun
Mother Superior jumped the gun
Mother Superior jumped the gun
Hoopiness is a warm pun (Hoopiness dang, dang, hoot, hoot)
Foofyness is a warm pun, Becca (Foofyness slang, slang, toot, toot)
When I scold you with my charms (Oo-oo oh yeah)
And I tap my keycaps o'er on Blogger (Oo-oo oh yeah)
I know lampoons can do no harm (Oo-oo oh yeah)
Because hoopiness is a warm pun, Becca
(Hoopiness dang, dang, hoot, hoot)
Hoopiness is a warm pun, yes it is (Hoopiness dang, dang, hoot, hoot)
Foofyness is a warm, yes it is, pun (Foofyness slang, slang, toot, toot)
Well, don't you know hoopiness is a warm pun, Becca?
(Hoopiness is a warm pun, yeah)
CopyClef 2015 John Lennon and Barsoom Tork Associates. North American Bupkis. All songs abused.
"At North American Bupkis, we haven't got time for mopery."
Happiness Is a Warm Gun — John Lennon
Narrator Meanwhile, the MST3K audience is getting excited. Tom Servo, unable to contain himself, gets into the act.
Audience Participation
Title: Amida Queen (This Troll Has Grown)
Artist: Tom Servo
Composer: John Lennon, Paul McCartney and Barsoom Tork Associates
YouTube: Norwegian Wood — The Beatles
I once had a troll, or should I say, she once trolled me
I showed her my blog, isn't it keen, Amida Queen?
She asked me to play and she told me to blog with a flair
So I looked around and I reckoned this wasn't hot air
I sat on the thread, cocking my head, spelunking wry bread
We talked until two and then she said, "There's something to dread."
She gave me a puzzle, then bade me to leave it alone
So I gave it to Scooby who loves to gnaw on a bone
And when morning came, this troll had a name
So I wrote a tune, isn't it keen, Amida Queen?
CopyClef 2015 John Lennon, Paul McCartney, and Barsoom Tork Associates. Resurrection Hackware. All songs reused.
"At Resurrection Hackware, our atrocious song parodies are your existential nightmare."
Do you have any idea how hard it is to indict a stubborn scientist?
You caffiends have mischaracterized and indicted a dozen annoying scientists this week. What are you gonna do next week?
Caffiends
Scapegoat a dozen more.
Inspector Callaban
Is that what you neuro-topicals are all about, being hard-ass blue meanies?
Caffiends
All our sheriffs are goof-offs. We are the first generation that's learned to game the system. We're simply purging Facebook of dorky scientists that would be caught out and banished anyway if our rules and guidelines worked properly. We began with the MIT geeks that the people know, so that our actions would be understood and applauded. It's not just a question of whether or not to use ostracism. There simply is no other way, Inspector. You of all people should understand that. Either you're for us or you're against us.
Inspector Callaban
I'm afraid you've misbudged me.
Magnum Force — I'm Afraid You've Misjudged Me — Clint Eastwood
The Dog Fight
Title: Scooby Doo vs. Darth Feuder
Artists: Scooby Doo, Darth Feuder, and the Keystone Kops
Composer: Phil Gernhard, Dick Holler and Barsoom Tork Associates
YouTube: Snoopy vs. the Red Baron — The Royal Guardsmen
Achtung! Jetzt singen wir gemeinsam die Geschichte Über Darth Feuder, die Funkadoodle von Dysfunktionalität Und die lästigen Barsoom Tork vom MIT
After the turn of the century
In the theatrical arch of the TBC
Came a liminal drama never seen before
Like the silent scream of a lunatic war
Eins, zwei, drei, vier ....
Up came a scare like a runaway train
Barsoom Tork was his avatar name Stop Requests tried and Stop Requests fried
Now they're scattered all over the countryside
Ten, twenty, thirty, forty Keystone Kops
The meddlesome Tork was engaging their chops
Valiant Gate Keepers tried to end that spree
Of Barsoom Tork of MIT
Left, two, three, four ....
In the nick of time, a hero arose
A Lissatone Lass with a big fire hose
She raced into the scene to stop that runaway train
But Barsoom shot her down "Curses, foiled again!"
Ten, twenty, thirty, forty Keystone Kops
The meddlesome Tork was engaging their chops
Valiant Gate Keepers tried to end that spree
Of Barsoom Tork of MIT
Now, Darth Feuder had sworn that she'd get that dork
So she asked the Great Concierge for a trident fork
She challenged Caprice to a juicy food fight
And while Barsoom was laughing, bonked him late at night
That engineer quickly
Switch-tracked his trains
He tried every route,
But ran out of refrains
Darth Feuder bonked once
And then rebonked him twice more
And that meddlesome academic
Was again shown the door
Ten, twenty, thirty, forty Keystone Kops
The meddlesome Tork
Was engaging their chops
Valiant Gate Keepers tried to end that spree
Of Barsoom Tork of MIT
Well, ten, twenty, thirty, forty Keystone Kops
Were bound and determined to pull out the stops
Valiant Gate Keepers tried to end that spree
Of that meddlesome geek from MIT
CopyClef 2015 Phil Gernhard, Dick Holler and Barsoom Tork Associates. Resurrection Hackware. All wrongs reversed.
"At Resurrection Hackware, our atrocious song parodies are your existential nightmare."
Snoopy vs. the Red Baron — The Royal Guardsmen
The "Go Jump In the Lake" scene ...
At this point, Scooby Doo turns up, covered in mud.
In barely recognizable dog prosody, Scooby says, "I'm afraid you've mis-smudged me."
Scooby then jumps in the lake, comes out "all washed up," and vigorously shakes his body.
Barsoom Tork is my name, and I rode on the Caffiend Train,
'Til so much rivalry came and tore up the tracks again.
In the Spring of Skandalon, we were rollin, just trollin' for bait.
I took the Train to Becca's Hostel, it was a time I remember, oh so well.
The Night They Drove Old Moulton Down, and all the bells were ringing,
The Night They Drove Old Moulton Down, and all the caffeind's were stingin'.
They went
Na,
Na, na, na, na, na,
Blah, blah, buh blah,
Buh blah blah, blah blah
Back with Jen at Indignity, and one day she said to me,
"Moulton, quick, come see, a-there goes Sandip on a spree!"
Now I don't mind "Please stop it, Dood!"
And I don't care if Darth Feuder is crude.
Just take what ya need and efface the rest,
But they should never have blasphemed the very best.
The Night They Drove Old Moulton Down, and all the bells were ringing,
The Night They Drove Old Moulton Down, and all the caffiends were stingin'.
They went
Na,
Na, na, na, na, na,
Blah, blah, buh blah,
Buh blah blah, blah blah
"True Rebel"
Like my father before me, I'm a working man,
And like Mani before me, I took a rebel stand.
Well, he was just pissed off, proud and brave,
But Becca McCall laid him in his grave,
I swear by the verse below my feet,
You can't raise the Torkel back up when he's in defeat.
The Night They Drove Old Moulton Down, and all the bells were ringing,
The Night They Drove Old Moulton Down, and all the people were stingin'.
They went
Na,
Na, na, na, na, na,
Blah, blah, buh blah,
Buh blah blah, blah blah
CopyClef 2015 Robbie Robertson, Joan Baez, and Barsoom Tork Associates.
Resurrection Hackware. All wrongs reversed.
"At Resurrection Hackware, we bring the zombies back to life."
The Night They Drove Old Dixie Down — The Band
Walk-Out Music El Condor Pasa (If I Could) — Paul Simon and Art Garfunkel
I'd rather be a sparrow than a snail
Yes I would, if I could, I surely would
I'd rather be a hammer than a nail
Yes I would, if I only could, I surely would
Away, I'd rather sail away
Like a swan that's here and gone
A man gets tied up to the ground
He gives the world its saddest sound
Its saddest sound
I'd rather be a forest than a street
Yes I would, if I could, I surely would
I'd rather feel the earth beneath my feet
Yes I would, if I only could, I surely would
El Condor Pasa — Simon and Garfunkel
Curtain Call
Title: I'm Gamboling Home
Artist: Caprice and the Scooby Gang
Composer: Barsoom Tork Associates
Album: Curried Lava
YouTube: I'm Going Home— Tim Curry
Caprice ~ The Fantastic Flying Scapegoat for Azazel
Caprice: On the day I was sent away
Scooby Chorus: Goodbye
Caprice: Was all I had to say
Scooby Chorus: Now I
Caprice: I want to redact my dossier
Scooby Chorus: Oh my
Caprice:
Smile, and that will mean I may
'Cause I've seen Rocky Horrors
Through the exits out your doors
And I realize I'm gamboling home
Scooby Chorus: I'm gamboling home
Caprice: Everywhere, it's been the same
Scooby Chorus: Oy vey
Caprice: Like I'm outside of the Brain
Scooby Chorus: Cafe
Caprice: Free to fast-track a brief
Scooby Chorus: Delay
Caprice:
Words for sorrow
Words for pain
'Cause I've seen Rocky Horrors
Through the exits out your doors
And I realize I'm gamboling home
Scooby Chorus:
I'm gamboling home
I'm gamboling home
I'm gamboling home
CopyClef 2015 Barsoom Tork Associates. Resurrection Hackware. All wrongs reversed.
"At Resurrection Hackware, our irritating song parodies are your everlasting earworm."
Hammurabic Disclaimer: The above Guerrilla Theatre Performance Art is a Comic Opera, featuring ridiculous caricatures of some real people. Such silly caricatures are not to be taken seriously.
Barsoom Tork: How can I use this portal to travel back to Earth?
[WassaMattaHugh arrives.]
Barsoom: If it was you who saved me, I give you thanks. I am Barsoom Tork from Mars.
WassaMattaHugh: I am WassaMattaHugh. The IDCab Aliens have been using this portal to alter Earth's history.
Barsoom: I must return to Earth and confound the IDCabalists.
WassaMattaHugh: I'll send you to Wikiversity. You must study the ID Cabal. Be careful. The Salmon are running.
[Barsoom beams to Wikiversity.]
Barsoom: I'll start a Wikiversity Learning Project to study the ID Cabal. Is there any way to overcome dysfunctional Wiki processes that were developed at Wikipedia by the ID Cabal?
[Scene shifts to the Colloquium Bar and Grill.]
Barsoom: Well, WassaMattaHugh, Lunatic Drama followed us to Wikiversity. Salmon disrupted our Learning Project. Jimbo blocked me, but I will return to editing.
WassaMattaHugh: How will you resurrect yourself, Barsoom? Do tell?
Trout of Doubt: By eating Salmon on Fridays? Yummy!
Barsoom: No. Trout of Doubt, I have but 263,682 lives to give to my Opera; 141 atrocious song parodies. Make that 142.
From: Moulton To: Somey <sophiapediac@gmail.com>, The Wikipedia Review <AntiCabal@gmail.com> Cc: Oscar Lechien, Gregory Kohs, SB_Johnny, JWSchmidt, Kato, Newyorkbrad, Daniel R. Tobias, Cary Bass, PoetGuy, Tarantino, Archos, Abd, Jon Awbrey, Proabivouac Date: Wed, Sep 22, 2010 at 9:08 PM Subject: Re: So, I was thinking... why not try it?
Hi Somey,
I was wondering if you were gonna get around to explaining your actions this morning.
On Wed, Sep 22, 2010 at 8:22 PM, Somey wrote:
BK:
I promised that next time we did something objectionable regarding your WR account, I'd notify you myself, rather than have the rest of the mods compose some sort of formal-sounding statement like we're a corporation or a government agency or something. We are, in fact, not a corporation or government agency.
Which, I suppose, begs the obvious question: What is the name of the organizational model that W-R is employing this week?
So... what I'd like you to do is find some obscure website - doesn't have to be less obscure than WR itself, though that would be nice - and write a series of scorching exposés about how the WR moderators are all tin-plated, hate-filled fascist gasbags (or "assbags" if you don't mind the profanity), and that we're totally unethical and have no sense of human decency. Lay it on thick! Tell 'em that we're now worse than Wikipedia, and that our treatment of you proves it, beyond question! Also, reveal our identities if at all possible - if you can't figure out who I am, just tell them my name is "Garry Shandling." Everybody hates that guy! Also, if you don't mind, try to do it on a site where they never, ever delete anything, just in case you might change your mind later.
Would you settle for an atrocious song parody or two on my relatively obscure and little noticed personal blog?
To that end, I've suspended your WR account until, let's see, sometime in 2035, I believe it is. (There's a little box where you enter how many days you want it to last, and since I'm super-lazy I just type in the same number four times - in your case it was "8"...) This should give you plenty of time to get started.
How come the error message reads:
Your account has been temporarily suspended. This suspension is due to end on Thu 23rd September 2010, 10:21am.
Oh, and I almost forgot - could you also mention that we never made any serious effort to even understand, much less attempt, that whole social-contract thing? Also, you never really got a proper warning that we might suspend you, so that was a total surprise - definitely don't fail to mention that!
Would it be all right if I simply let your words speak for themselves?
If this little experiment works, we could have you "back in the fold" in no time at all - as early as 2027 even, though a lot of that depends on things like Apache/PHP date-handling bugs, or WR Mods of the Distant Future® clicking the wrong button by accident, etc.
Do you have a control group for your experiment? And how about approval from that ever-popular Human Subjects Committee?
Which reminds me... Warden Gomi still hasn't answered my Six Questions about that.
Good luck, and remember, this is a singular honor - most people never, ever get this far. I know I never did... Heck, I never even tried! ~Somey
I was originally drawn to The Volokh Conspiracy because one of the more prominent bloggers on the site, Orin Kerr of the George Washington University School of Law, specializes in research on cybercrime law, including the Computer Fraud and Abuse Act (CFAA), under which Aaron Swartz was indicted. Professor Kerr has written about the Aaron Swartz case, as well as other related cases. He also testifies before Congressional subcommittees responsible for cybercrime legislation.
Readers at The Volokh Conspiracy typically have lively discussions about the issues which the law professors opine about and otherwise bring up for discussion.
I was participating in a handful of these conversations when I ran into difficulties with the DISQUS Commenting System. Unable to diagnose the problem, I wrote to Eugene Volokh. There ensued this curious exchange, which Professors Volokh and Kerr have graciously consented to permit me to reproduce here.
~~ Frachtwagens von Kauderwelsch~~
Dear Professor Volokh,
A few days ago, I ran into a perplexing glitch while participating in the comments sections of Volokh Conspiracy.
When I try to enter a comment with my DISQUS ID, the comment posting box remains unprocessed.
I tried logging out of DISQUS and posting with my well-known alternate screen name, and that worked at first, but then that also glitched. I tried clearing cookies, to no avail.
I am now seeing this error message in the comments below your latest post:
You do not have permission to post on this thread.
I am wondering if there is some other problem -- perhaps something other than a technical glitch with DISQUS.
I would be grateful if you would kindly ask one of your staff to help diagnose and correct the problem.
-- "Whereof we cannot express a theory, we must narrate a story instead.'' —Umberto Eco
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Barry,
You cannot comment at the blog because I decided that it was in the best interest of the blog to end your commenting privileges. I apologize, but my conclusion was that your many comments were just too often not closely related to the posts: In particular, your comments tend to be about subjects of interest to you, rather than about the subject of the thread, which led to frequent "thread jacking" and side discussions of little relevance to the posts that made the threads lose their focus. I also thought some of your comments came off as rude, although I realize that you may not have meant them that way.
Just to pick one example, in the comment thread about NYU's new dean, you turned a discussion about an outside dean hire at a law school into a discussion of internal hiring in corporations, focused on an issue that you are apparently interested in (how corporations may "kick someone upstairs") that wasn't related to the subject of the post (Morrison was an outside hire, so he obviously wasn't promoted for that reason). And then when I noted (in response to someone's comment) that becoming a law school dean wasn't very good training to be solicitor general because "you're not only not practicing law, you're not even thinking all that much about it.," you responded, "Orin, do they teach metacognition within the corridors of law schools?" That was either an obnoxious comment to me or else yet another comment about some topic of interest to you (who teaches "metacognition") rather than of interest to the thread.
Anyway, I apologize if you're unhappy with the news. But our preference is to try to maintain a comment thread that stays pretty closely to the subject of the posts, and your comments consistently veered the discussion away from that focus. Again, my apologies.
Orin
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Orin,
Thank your for disclosing your responsibility in terminating my posting privilege on Volokh Conspiracy. That resolves my perplexity, exchanging it for one of astonishment and vexation.
I would like to respectfully request a public hearing, review, and discussion, before a representative panel of your peers and other veteran and respected participants in the conversations at Volokh Conspiracy, regarding the issues of fairness, appropriateness, and due process, in decisions such as the one you have enacted here.
That is, I would like to propose the above open conversation in the spirit of truth and reconciliation among fellow academics who seek to converse among their peers in a collegial and congenial manner, in accordance with the highest principles of scholarly ethics and good faith.
Prof. Kort: It’s just a blog, and in particular our blog. We run it and the comments threads in the way we think is best, and we run it as a sideline to our day jobs. If we had to have a big procedure before such decisions are made, we basically couldn’t effectively moderate comments, which we means that we wouldn’t have comments at all, so that neither you nor anyone else could post comments. And, it being our dinner party, we get to set up the guest list.
But the good news is that it’s a very big Internet out there. There are millions of blogs you can comment on them, and of course you can easily set up your own as well. So public hearings, review, discussion, and due process strike us as rather out of place given that it’s our blog, and given the extremely small value of the privilege at stake.
Eugene Volokh
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Professor Volokh,
I understand your position, and I respect it. But permit me to make you aware of the subtle implications of your community's policy and practice.
As you know, the modern concept of law descends from practices originally introduced into civilization by figures like Solon and Hammurabi. It's instructive to take a look at the very first law of Hammurabi's Code:
1. If any one ensnare another, putting a ban upon him, but he can not prove it, then he that ensnared him shall be put to death.
Capricious and arbitrary ostracism is not an issue to be taken lightly, at least not by those whose traditions descend from deep regard for the Rule of Law.
When Thomas Jefferson and the other Founders drafted the US Constitution, one of the provisions they put in Article One was a prohibition against Bills of Attainder. As you know, a Bill of Attainder is the technical term in the law for declaring a person to be an unwelcome outlaw or outcast (without respect to having violated any specific law that applies equally to everyone). The Founders excluded Bills of Attainder from the tools of governance because 4000 years of political history had demonstrated that such a toxic practice is corrosive and ridden with corruption, and invariably sinks any regime that comes to rely on it.
So what is the remedy? One amusing answer can be found in the second law of Hammurabi’s Code. As Hammurabi advises, the solution is to call upon the alleged miscreants to go jump in the lake.
So yes, it's just a blog. Just a blog exemplifying the best scholarship, best thinking, and best practices of some two dozen of America's most visible academics in the field of law.
Professor Volokh, is this the best your scholarly community can do in terms of setting a worthy example for young and impressionable students of law to learn ethical best practices from their elders?
The Rule of Law is very important when it comes to government action. It may even be important for large organizations in which membership matters a great deal, such as private universities -- though even there that's not clear, given that many private employers operate without quasi-legal procedures for dismissals, demotions, and so on (and derive many advantages from being able to do so).
But I've certainly never felt bound to decide whom to invite to my parties -- or whom to exclude from my parties -- through the Rule of Law. It's hard to see much of a connection between that and bills of attainder. The blog is a big party. You've been here for a while, but now we'd rather not have you. There are very many others you can go to. Hammurabi has his domain, we have ours.
Eugene
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Professor Volokh,
Do you mind if I share our correspondence with others, outside of the community at Volokh Conspiracy?
Regards,
Barry
-- "A blog is not a Just Place. It's just a place." —Caprice
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Please feel free to.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Sorry, hit enter too quickly -- please feel free to share my messages to you; as to Orin’s message (and any others’, if there are), please check with them.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Thank you, Eugene.
Orin, may I also have your permission to share with others, outside of the community at Volokh Conspiracy, your correspondence (in situ below) to me, explaining and defending your decision to ban/block/excommunicate me from participation in the conversations at Volokh Conspiracy?
Regards,
Barry Kort
-- "When it comes to quixotic quests, perhaps none is more intractable than nudging a hopelessly dysfunctional system in the Bokononicdirection of enlightenment.'' —Moulton, "Inherit the Windmills"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Barry,
When I wrote it, I didn't intend that my message would be posted publically: It was an explanation to you, not to the world. At the same time, I don't think I have a way to stop you from sharing it if you decide to do so. So if you do share it, I would appreciate it if you would point out that the message I wrote you was intended for a private audience of you, not a public audience.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Hi Orin,
Thanks for getting back to me.
I'll give you several options to think about, Orin.
1. You can rescind the ban or block and accept my suggestion to discuss the issues that divide us, in the spirit of truth and reconciliation, and in a manner commensurate with an academic culture of collegiality and congeniality.
2. You can sustain your decision, ipse dixit, and respond (or not) in the venue(s) I select to examine, reflect on, and discuss my unsettling experience at Volokh Conspiracy.
3. You can sustain your decision, ipse dixit, and suggest an amicable conflict resolution exercise in a mutually agreeable venue apart from VC, supervised and/or moderated by someone with credentials comparable to those of Hal Abelson, whom we would both trust to be fair-minded, constructive, impartial, and equally helpful to both of us.
Do you have a preference, or perhaps a fourth alternative to suggest?
Regards,
Barry
-- "Whereof we cannot express a theory, we must narrate a story instead.'' —Umberto Eco
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Actually, while I normally defer to the judgment of my cobloggers, at this point I’d like to take the matter out of Orin’s hands, unless he strenuously objects. Prof. Kort, you are a high-maintenance commenter who is doing more to interfere with what we’re doing than to advance it. You are therefore no longer welcome on our blog. I don’t want to spend more time discussing this with you. My guess is that if you select venues to examine, reflect on, and discuss your experience, other readers of those venues will likewise see what I’m seeing here, and will sympathize with our decision to no longer have dealings with you. But of course it’s entirely up to you (subject to Orin’s request in his 2:24 pm message). You can say whatever you want to say; I’m just happy that you will be saying it elsewhere.
Eugene Volokh
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
It would be helpful if I understood what you are doing, Eugene.
All it says is "The Volokh Conspiracy is a group blog. Most of us are law professors."
That says what you are, but not what you are doing. Evidently I don't apprehend what you are doing. I searched for a Mission Statement but found none. You adopted a curious name, "Conspiracy," but I have no clue what your community of bloggers is "conspiring" to do.
Color me vexed and perplexed on that one, Eugene.
Also, it would be helpful if you could put a noun phrase to "see what I’m seeing here" as the word "what" has no antecedent. Please enlighten me. What is the proper name of that which you are seeing here?
Regards,
Barry
-- "Whereof we cannot express a theory, we must narrate a story instead.'' —Umberto Eco
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Prof. Kort: As I mentioned, I don’t want to spend more time discussing this with you.
Eugene Volokh
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I acknowledge your state of exasperation, Eugene.
Peace.
Barry
-- "Whereof we cannot express a theory, we must narrate a story instead.'' —Umberto Eco
It's My Party
Title: It's My Party
Artists: Eugene, Orin, and Moulton
Composer: John Gluck, Wally Gold, Herb Weiner, and Barsoom Tork Associates
YouTube: It's My Party -- Lesley Gore (1965)
Eugene
Nobody knows where Barry has gone
Moulton left the same time
Why was he scolding our band
Is he opposed to some crime?
It's my party, and I'll cry if I want to
Cry if I want to, cry if I want to
You would cry too if he scandalized you
Orin
Playin' my game, testifyin' all day
Leave me alone for a while
'Till Gohmert's dancin' with me
I've got no reason to smile
It's my party, and I'll sigh if I want to
Sigh if I want to, sigh if I want to
You would sigh too if it happened to you
Moulton
Eugene and Orin just walked through the door
Like a liege with his king
Oh what a sudden surprise
Orin's makin' me sing
It's my problem, and I'll cry if I want to
Sigh if I want to, try if I want to
You would try too if it baffleplexed you
It's my problem, and I'll cry if I want to
Sigh if I want to, try if I want to
You would try too if it baffleplexed you
It's My Party
Brenda Walsh as Laverne - Beverly Hills 90210
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Non Più Commenti
Title: Non Più Commenti (You Shall Comment No More)
Artist: Yehven Kauderwelsch
Libretto: Benjamin Miller
Music: Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart
Original Aria: Non Più Andrai (You Shall Cavort No More)
Opera: Le Nozze Di Figaro (The Marriage of Figaro)
You shall comment no more professor Kort
O' you've perturbed and disturbed my legal blog
O' you've disturbed and perturbed my lawyer friends
O' Barry Kort my distinguished Academe
you've disturbed and perturbed my lawyer friends
O' Barry Kort my distinguished Academe
No more will you question us on our logic
though with no better reason, our endeavor is tragic
and though we feel that your math is black magic
Yet, we know that you have your acclaim
Yet, we know that you have your acclaim
It's our game, though it's a shame
we'll ban your name, and proclaim
you are no longer welcome
You shall comment no more professor Kort
O' you've perturbed and disturbed my legal blog
O' you've disturbed and perturbed my lawyer friends
O' Barry Kort my distinguished Academe
you've disturbed and perturbed my lawyer friends
O' Barry Kort my distinguished Academe
Now we all dance the fandango
trading thoughts while never questing
to discover, if our precedence
shall uncover bigger question
are we right, or are we mistaken
trading thoughts, while you're forsaken
while you're forsaken
while you're forsaken
And in mistaking not uncover
the thought of none but one and other
Our montage may seem quite phony
in our reason there's bologna,
strudel, pastries, and minestrone,
fresh spaghetti, and spumoni
mac and cheese and a cigar
It's our game, though it's a shame
we'll ban your name, and proclaim
you are no longer welcome
You shall comment no more professor Kort
O' you've perturbed and disturbed my legal blog
O' you've disturbed and perturbed my lawyer friends
O' Barry Kort my distinguished Academe
you've disturbed and perturbed my lawyer friends
O' Barry Kort my distinguished Academe
Professor Kort we are victorious
though as inglorious as we are!
Professor Kort we are victorious
though as inglorious as we are!
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(Sandip)
